The New beginning part 3
that chair with wheels is just an everyday reminder of that awful day. It's silly, I know,
Another day at school was done ” Shoot me now, and take me out of my misery” I thought but my thoughts were quickly interrupted by a suave honey like voice.
“Hey Senel, hey Tobey” said Karin another one of my closest friends besides Tobey. She’s also my co-worker at the local pizzeria. Karin knows of my situation and always tries to help me out, one hardly ever finds people like Karin, she is the best.
“Yo,” I responded back “Hey you working tonight?” I ask her.
“Um. Not today sorry,” She apologized
“No problem I was just asking.”
” I have something for you,” she told me. I lifted up my eyebrow curious to know what the special gift she had in store for me. She reached into her backpack and grabbed a white envelope with my name on it.
“Here take it” she said
I grabbed the envelope surprised at how thick it felt between my fingers.
“So what is it?….” I paused and nearly chocked once I figured out the content inside the envelop. The emotion was overwhelming, a mixture of feeling I could not understand. I ran my fingers across the slips of green paper inside the envelope “ten…fifty……seventy five……one-seventy five…..two hundred…..three hundred”. I counted in a hushed whisper. My jaw dropped once my finger landed once again on the white vanilla envelope “I can’t accept this it’s too much money and I think you need the money too?”
I handed the envelope back but she would not take it back, instead she just didn’t reply and smiled while she playfully hit me on the head
“Don’t worry about it, you’re the one that really needs it. You need to support your family and don’t worry you can pay me back some how.” before I could say anything else she left.
“Pinch me I must be dreaming” I thought. It was no dream or illusion I was actually there standing with three hundred dollars in my hand, was fate actually on my side?
_________________________
I came home now emotional exhausted but with my pay checks and the money that Karin gave earlier. I must have had such a ridiculous expression on my face because once I entered the house, heads turned and questioned the goofy smile that was spread across my face.
” Hey what’s the matter with you little brother?” my sister Lauren asked me as she wheeled herself. I suddenly had a wierd pain in my chest when I saw the her, I ignored it and quickly hung my jacket . I grabbed the hinges of the chair and wheeled her to the living room
” I have over 500 hundred dollars in my hand thats my problem!” I said all excited.
“How did you get that money, you didn’t do anything bad right?…….” she said all concerned
I began to laugh and sat on the beaten old sofa that mom had left us “No I didn’t do anything bad. Nice that you trust me so much, seriously Lauren you gotta stop watching TV” I teased
“Well I am just asking, god knows what kids do these day to make an earning”
“I tell you how kids make an earning….. they do it through hard work and pure will power,” I say sarcastically, she laughed and I continued to talk
“I got three hundred from Karin, my co-worker, you remember her.?”
“Oh yeah I remember her. Wait a minute, so she just gave you the money, this Karin girl?” she replied. I nodded and Lauren began to snicker.
“What?” I asked
“Girls just don’t give out random money Senel……So what’s your relationship with this Karin girl?”
I could feel my cheeks become hot. “Uh we are just friends Lauren…. geez” I quickly looked in a different direction so she could not see the new shade of pink my face was becoming, quickly I circumvented the subject. “I think I’ll go to bed I need to wake up early for your doctor’s appointment tomorrow, It’s your big day” with that I turned away and started to walk towards my room.
“ Tsk tsk, Senel you are so thick-headed,” was the last I managed to hear from Lauren as I started to go up the stairs. “I’m not thickheaded, besides, me and Karin are just friend” I thought
I locked myself in my room and put the money in my shoe box. The shoe box is where I keep all my money before I put it in Lauren’s bank account, she helps me balance the bills and checks in order for us to live a debt free life. I usually keep it here untill I have a big amount to deposit, something mom would do. She would often wait till the end of the month and just make a huge deposit, so most likely I got the habit from her. Euphoria was still looming over me, I rested my head on my pillow. Today my cycling of thoughts didn’t appear, I didn’t have to worry about money, or school instead I just slowly drifted away in to beautiful dreams, when mom was still alive.
The sad part is, that my dream did not last long instead I woke up in the middle of the night embraced by my cycling of thoughts once again. I decided to check on the girls since I was so wide awke . First I checked on Shirlely who was streched out on her bed, her hair spread around her face like a fan, her mouth slightly ajared the quientessential look for a cute little girl. This was the Shirley that I wished I could see everyday, a girl that looked innocent, a girl without a care in the world. Fate had taken that opportunity away and made her grow up far too fast. I quietly closed the door and went into Lauren’s room. Unlike Shirley she was bundled up in a small coner of her bed. I was just about to leave when a metallic shimmer caught my eyes. Once I figured out what the sillohuett was, I started to get what I call the emotional barf. I quickly jetted out and went striaght to my room.
“Stupid thing, always making me remeber” I scolded
_____________________________________
Our house was chaotic. I sighed and ran my hand through my auburn hair. “This is why I hate living with girls” I though to myself .
“Wake up Lauren, it’s time for your appointment!”.
“I am awake and I’m coming ” Lauren screamed back.
“Shirley are you ready?” I yelled
“I’m right here and ready to go,” she said
Once I confirmed on the whereabout of my sisters I went outside. Shirley helped Lauren while I got the Barney mobile ready for them. (Why Barney? because it is an ugly shade of purple and also because that was the name mom use to call our purple van when we were little.) . I saw our front door open and slowly two girls appeared. I watched Lauren and Shirley as they slowly started to approach the Barney mobile. Shirley was having a little trouble with Laurens wheelchair. She is so god damn stubborn that even if I offered my help she would not accept it. Suddenly I got emotional as I watched them, as if it were just a build up of depression just suddenly blowing up in my face. It almost got me sick but I tried to shake the feeling away. The emotional barf was still building up and I finally understood what the cause of it was. It was that thing, that contraption, a symbol of an everyday reminder of pain. Everything would be a hell lot easier if it were not for that wheelchair, that dreadful wheelchair just has so many tragic memories looming over it. At times I can’t even look at Lauren, well not necessary Lauren but that wheelchair. That chair with wheels is just an everyday reminder of that awful day, it’s silly to think that way, I know. Imagine waking up one day, having the most regular life then the next day everything collapse and you are forced to look at the burden every single day, bonded to it as though you are a prisoner. It’s hard on all of us but more on Lauren. I tried to cool myself down I needed to be the man of the house and hold my emotions, I don’t want to show a sign of weakness, I need to be strong.
“Finally you guys get here. I thought you were going to leave me in this car forever.” I joked. Shirly glared while I helped Lauren into the the horribly named purple van and started to drive to the doctors praying for good news
Leave a Reply